5 Ways You Are Holding Yourself Back from Leadership Growth

Growth is not always about doing more.

Sometimes it is about recognizing where you are getting in your own way.

Over the past few years, I have had to start over more than once. Not from scratch, but from a place of recalibration. Different environments. Different expectations. Different versions of myself.

Each time, I assumed the challenge would be external.

Each time, the real work was internal.

I made the decision to move to Rwanda for personal reasons. I needed space. I needed to breathe. But what I did not anticipate was how much being in a completely different environment would shift how I saw myself as a leader.

I was no longer navigating from the margins...and that alone changed how I showed up.

In a new environment, I was not the expert. I had to listen more, observe more, and adjust faster. 

I could not rely on reputation or familiarity. I had to be present enough to understand what was actually happening, not what I assumed to be true.

At the same time, I chose to start law school as a mature student while continuing to run a full-time business. That experience challenged my assumptions about discipline, time, and capacity. I could not rely on what had made me successful before. I had to build systems that actually matched the demands of that season.

Then there was the business itself.

We have been operating in a climate where DEIB work has become more politicized, weaponized, and, in many cases...less visible. But the work has not stopped. Companies are still doing it. They are just moving differently. That required me to rethink how we position, communicate, and continue to lead without relying on outdated approaches.

Across all of these transitions, one question kept coming up:

What do I need to release in order to grow into this next season?

Because leadership is seasonal. What made you effective in one season can limit you in the next. 

So, here are five ways I see high-performing leaders hold themselves back from growth:

1. Holding on to an identity that no longer fits

We get attached to being known for something. The expert. The dependable one. The high performer.

But growth requires evolution. If you are still leading from an identity shaped in a previous season, you may be reinforcing strengths that are no longer aligned with where you are going.

2. Over-relying on what has worked before

Success creates patterns. Patterns create comfort.

But comfort does not always translate into growth. What worked before will not always carry you forward, especially in a different environment or at a different level.

3. Treating capacity as infinite

If you have built your career on being capable, it is easy to assume you can continue to take on more.

But capacity is not infinite.

Law school forced me to become disciplined about where my time and energy went. Not everything deserved access. Leadership growth requires protecting your capacity, not constantly expanding it.

4. Waiting for external validation before making a move

This often shows up as hesitation.

Waiting for the title. Waiting for recognition. Waiting for someone to confirm what you already know.

At a certain level, leadership requires you to move before validation arrives.

5. Avoiding the discomfort of starting again

Every new season requires discomfort. New expectations. New skills. Even when you are experienced.

Starting law school and prepping for the California bar exam pushed me in ways I had not experienced in YEARS. But discomfort is often a sign that growth is happening.

Avoiding it keeps you anchored where you are.

So, now what?

If you are already a high-performing leader, the next level is not about proving more. 

It is about aligning more.

It is about understanding what season you are in and adjusting accordingly.

Most leaders do not struggle because they lack ability. They struggle because they are applying the wrong approach for their current season.

This is why I evolved my proprietary Executive Coaching program, Stop Being the Best Kept Secret (R).

It's not about pushing you to do more. It is about helping you see more clearly.

Where are you operating from "habit" instead of "intention"? 

Where are you holding on to something that no longer fits? 

Where are you using effort where alignment would be more effective?

Leadership growth is not linear. It is seasonal. It requires honesty.

And in many cases, the shift you are looking for will not come from doing more.

It will come from having the clarity to do less...differently...and with greater intention.

April Observances:

• Celebrate Diversity Month: This month emphasizes the value of different backgrounds, identities, and perspectives. It encourages learning, respect, and inclusive practices across communities and workplaces.

• Autism Awareness Month: Focused on increasing understanding of autism, this month highlights neurodiversity and the experiences of autistic individuals. It also promotes acceptance, inclusion, and support.

• Deaf History Month: Honoring the history, culture, and achievements of the Deaf community, this month recognizes Deaf leaders, advocacy, and language. It also highlights the significance of American Sign Language and accessibility.

• National Arab American Heritage Month: This month celebrates Arab American heritage, culture, and history. It also pays tribute to the contributions of Arab Americans and Arabic-speaking Americans across fields and generations.

• Stress Awareness Month: Dedicated to increasing awareness around stress and its effects on health and well-being. The month encourages healthier coping strategies and conversations about mental wellness.

• National Volunteer Month: A month recognizing the impact of volunteers and the power of service. It highlights how giving time and skills strengthens communities and causes.

• Passover, April 1–9: An eight-day Jewish holiday commemorating the emancipation of the Israelites from slavery in ancient Egypt. Observances include ritual meals, storytelling, and reflection.

• Holy Thursday (Maundy Thursday), April 2: A Christian observance commemorating the Last Supper, when Jesus shared a final meal with the Apostles. It is observed on the Thursday before Easter.

• World Autism Awareness Day, April 2: A global observance dedicated to increasing awareness and understanding of autism. It emphasizes inclusion, acceptance, and the importance of supportive communities.

• Good Friday, April 3: Observed by Christians to commemorate the crucifixion of Jesus. It is recognized on the Friday before Easter as a solemn day of reflection.

• Easter and Orthodox Easter, April 5: Celebrated by many Christian traditions, Easter marks the resurrection of Jesus following the crucifixion. It is a central holiday symbolizing renewal and hope.

• Tartan Day, April 6: A celebration of Scottish heritage and the cultural contributions of Scottish and Scottish-diaspora communities. The day honors history, traditions, and shared identity.

• World Health Day, April 7: Established by the World Health Organization, this day draws attention to global health priorities. It highlights the importance of health equity and well-being worldwide.

• Asian American Women’s and Pacific Islander Women’s Equal Pay Day, April 7: This observance raises awareness about the pay gap experienced by Asian American and Pacific Islander women compared to White men. It underscores ongoing inequities in compensation and opportunity.

• National Day of Silence, April 10: Observed through a daylong vow of silence, this event protests the silencing of LGBTQ+ students and their allies due to bias and harassment. It raises awareness of the impact of discrimination in schools.

• Vaisakhi (Baisakhi), April 14: A significant Sikh celebration marking the founding of the Khalsa and the birth of the Sikh community. The day is observed with gatherings, service, and cultural traditions.

• National American Sign Language Day, April 15: A day celebrating American Sign Language and its role in Deaf culture and communication. It recognizes ASL as a vital and expressive language.

• Volunteer Recognition Day, April 20: A day dedicated to honoring individuals who volunteer their time and energy to support others. It recognizes service, generosity, and community impact.

• Earth Day, April 22: A global observance highlighting environmental protection and sustainability. It encourages action to preserve the planet for future generations.

• World Day for Safety and Health at Work, April 28: This day promotes the prevention of occupational injuries and illnesses worldwide. It emphasizes safe working conditions and worker well-being.

Until next month... Be well and protect your peace!